Time passes by so quickly! I was once playing bears and now i am working, I don't even get to see a bear around in my house. :(

Many things changed.. Even new horoscopes is being introduced and I am now a Taurus?! And is everyone changing? If horoscopes were ever to be true, people should be changing now right. But it doesn't matter as my life is really great right now. I have been talking to the brothers more often now, i tried my best to always spend time with them. I am not really into the group yet, but i am happy that i can be around them. :) SERIOUSLY!

I really hope things will continue stay this good. :)

and then again, Evangeline, I wish for what i wished for during christmas. :) With all my heart.

I said i would try one last time. I did! I did it like seriously, and you just take it for granted and you just take the chance and be some kind of whatever bad things that can be applied. You seriously doing this to me?

previous post i said i was going to write down some stupid decision and mistake i've made right. here it is.. *damn i am gonna hate what i write later on.*

this period of time where i have not been blogging. hell lots of stuffs happened in my life. everyone is growing up, i thought i did but everything i do is just. plain childish and.. retarded.

well my life during this period of time is a roller-coaster ride. i was actually having a really wonderful time in poly, which i really really missed right now. i never had an enjoyable primary school life nor secondary school life. they sucked. till after i entered poly, initially it sucked.. until i get to join the ece society.

i just happen to join ece camp and volunteered as a group leader, from there i met the two guys that changed my poly life. literally. i was still an outcasted boy after i joined the camp, i don't know how it happened but we made it and the camp was.. what supposedly made us brothers.

we. most of the group leader then continue working together with the ece society and we ended up taking over ece society. and everything after that was just amazing. the life that i always wanted, the feel that everyone is important and the feeling of being needed. its great.

we worked hard together in events, success or failure we pulled it through together. back then we were brothers and sisters. and really really close ones. what makes it even better is that, i knew this girl. she was amazing. but then i kept thinking that we are just not meant for each other due to all the stubborn things that we held on.

life was too good back then. i knew something was wrong. and the down stream comes after. everything that i had during this amazing period of time is slowly disappearing. there was a misunderstanding, i could have explained it. but i chose not to cause i thought separating was better for us. she gave me many chances but i never treasured it.

i was still thinking that i haven lost much because my brothers are still there for me. but then again. misunderstanding and misunderstandings just happens. and very soon without knowing, everything was out of control and that very moment. i was back to how i was when i entered the school.

i walked the school alone, i stayed over in the library alone and i went back home alone.

i don't know how to do things the right way now. but i really really do miss all that i once had.

hey blog. it has been really long since i blogged.

many things happened from the previous post to this post. i am not proud of what has happened neither do i will hide what has happened. :) *its 6am and i feel so, i am lost for words but i just have many things to write about*

when i just started, i always wanted more people to know that my blog existed and things like that. but then again now that it has been so long since i blogged and no one, for i believe no one will happen to come across this blog again.. right?

i kind of feel that it is better that no one reads it. :) i feel more comfortable writing and i could just write whatever that comes to my mind. and maybe in many many years later, i might be a old man that happens to come across this blog again. all this post should mean alot to me.

till now i have 570 post in this blog and i think its. really.. remarkable?! i have not scanned through the past post yet but i believe this blog contains many of my stupid moments and decisions in life. and now i will pen down another stupid decision in my life.

*in the next post. :) its too wordy.*

i am blogging once again not because i wanna blog.. just because i wanna type it out and i dont want it too public.. facebook is way to public.. making it more personal now since i dun believe anyone is reading my blog now..



i totally understand why i am a wild boar like you described me as. but silly me just wanna hear from me, but instead of telling me you chose to tell me that you forgot about it. i just feel that you are not forgetting anything abt it.. but instead you are.. choosing not to hurt me. right?



ok what i did moments ago is totally an act-of-a-wild-boar. but i am just trying to put something striaght to you that.. it means more than what you think that i am thinking. like seriously.

and i also know i am totally running away from you everything sucha thing happens. sorry. i really want everything to be just as simple as it seems. i know its difficult for you and i am making things difficult for you. but you could feel so much better just by thinking simple could that be ever so difficult for anyone?

has many many to blog about.. but the blogger has something wrong few days ago that makes me no feel to blog..

anyway.. What have i done. argh.. its even kind of hard to pen down my thoughts now. in fact, i m not so certain of wad i m actually thinking about. :(

i tried to change. i learned to smile and laugh more. but at the same time my surroundings gets darker and darker. more and more dull. quieter and quieter. seems like things just don't go the way it should huh..

OOPG lab test tmr..

and i finished it today. for you with sincerity.. but aye.. nevermind.

i will blog out tmr.. HOPEFULLY.. had a very very interesting weekends.. SERIOUSLY

ok eff blogger.. i dont know what's happening to it.. infact it should be what's happening to my life..

well i guess screwing up my life is kind of like a common thing huh.. on grading day itself.. and blah blah blah..

i have so much to blog.. but i guess i m just always too late for everything.. i wanted to say so much.. but then again i think.. "is it gonna change anything? is it even going to help?"

alright anyway.. it seems like i just have a whole chuck of holidays free now.. i have so much planned, so much to do, so much to say.. but it seems to me that i m totally free right now.. ok.. i should be happy that now i can give it all in for ece society..

to say about giving all out brings me to Annual General Meeting this coming thursday.. i have GAVE UP so much.. gave up so much of my and ours idea just due to time and my lack of knowledge. giving up is totally fine with me.. but losing.... is another thing.

alongside. i think i lost the reasons for me to touch my phone and make a text message. i think i lost the reasons for staying up late. i think i lost the reasons for going around searching for places..

i guess this is just parts and parcels of alex life which is meant to be screwed up..

how i smiled when the song came up on the radio.

then again. how helpless to wake up from dreams.

how tired to be packed with things to do throughout the day and night.

and how depressing it is to gain so much time out of a sudden when i needed more just moments ago.

just how i smiled when the phone rings out of a sudden. and wasn't me who waited for it to ring. but then just how it turns out to be..